I was looking around on Craigslist for a lamp that looked like Elvis when

I was looking around on Craigslist for a lamp that looked like Elvis when

We brought ourselves to believe
That Michael Jackson "liked" the Arab World
Because he drove his car through an
Adultmart store just to steal a sex-toy replica
Hunched over a typewriter management thinkers
And executives alike
Now realize that bosses cannot
Just give the monkey a substantial
Part of our career
This new health scare
Was the most shocking finale ever
And thrills fans by doing aerial stunts of anger
At the ''Men Tell All'' reunion
The bachelors vent their fairy-tale spleen
After enduring two seasons of reality dating
How come bloods and crips don't get along?
Until their pants are down at the fucking mall
Why do slugs shrivel up
When people pour salt on them
You get what you pay for

you're on public transportation and someone has their music on their ipods or whatever turned up so loud that everyone can hear it

You're on public transportation and someone has their music on their ipods or whatever turned up so loud that everyone can hear it

This homage to our favorite online social network
And the Fail Whale appears whenever
The site is overloaded
When a low IQ from Norway
Drinks some shit for some money
An acquired and very specifically acquired
Taste of fat unwashed losers
Building what essentially boils down
To a cult to "redesign" hot dogs
And other foods that weren't dangerous
Enough perhaps there is a non-existent 100%
Hot theoretical tacky trannylicious
True romance like waffles
But really wants Salma Hayek's boobs
Cause you boys been wackin off to a dude
Cept she has a vagina and she better not
Disrespect his mamma In my experience
a dog may go for several days
before finally resorting to eating the owner's body
A cat on the other hand
will only wait a day or two

The Typing of the Ghosts

The Typing of the Ghosts

Today I wrecked the rental
I used a Sharpie
As an eye liner
In the airplane bathroom
I talked to my mom yesterday
Dad's not doing well
He's unsteady, dizzy, forgetful
A heart monitor found an arrhythmia
Na na na na hey hey I think I might
Go watch Napoleon Dynamite's dance scene
Now that it's always sunny in Philadelphia
If you want to be a cracker
Go read the alt.2600 newsgroup
And get all the dirt fit to print
Brad Pitt and Quentin Tarantino
Are teenagers from different worlds
They meet up at a karaoke contest
And fill their cargo pants up with weed
So appropriate meathead may result
In severe civil and criminal penalties
Unless prior authorization has been obtained
A cute new science teacher causes Dakota Fanning
To lose focus jeopardizing
Her father/daughter bonding weekend
It reminds me of Daffy Duck and
It bugs me that he got another round off
Life is so full of little annoyances
Sometimes they are a sophomore
Release by a progressive rock band
Where the supply of exotic is in the wake of
Viagra's enormous popularity
I'm feeling rough
I'm feeling raw
I'm in the prime of my life pushing stuffing
between the turkey's skin and breasts
Increasing the thickness of the breasts
So they take the same time to cook as I feel pain
About 2 inches above my hip bone
The size of your fist
In a tractor-trailer
part of Chuck Norris' sperm escapes
From a lavish, posh, ritzy, bewitching,
Exclusive, expensive, and elaborate little hymen

Onanism With The Kardashian

Onanism With The Kardashian


These blasted jugs weigh 40lbs
Dead weight and are too heavy
for most women my jugs are only
A hundred quotations of courage,
Persistence, happiness, the purpose of life,
And most famous for a series
Of phenomena involving a persistent
And invasive low-frequency noise
Not audible to all this is
How you will disappear
While I self medicate
Through the passing year
A cosmic disco floor-filler
That sets the stage for
The pipes aren't meant to hold semen
I just wonder what else is included
In the semen-related costs
At University of Michigan
By the way
Can a doctor tell
From a physical examination
If I makes little ladyboy squeals
when I masturbate with Khloe Kardashian
Apparently understands
The true meaning of Valentine's Day
Simply by positioning her hooch underneath
A roaring waterfall
And letting gravity handle the rest

Please Don't Break My Heart Vinyl for just $2.97

Please Don't Break My Heart Vinyl for just $2.97

A good student
A track star
And a greaser to our events
Those we attend in the wider BDSM world
To fly the flag
It is important for one's mental
And physical health Mr Jaguar
And I still have not done the deed
Since Baby Jaguar was born
It's my fault entirely
It's my responsibility
Entirely my fault
Of course I regret it
It's the kind of locker-room conversation
We all use if my wife
Is in a bad mood
Anyone else get this
Paris you little Yorkie
Get your little tail back here
How do I re-boot
My computer so everything is gone
And why am I stalking
A hot Swedish woman named Ingrid
OK so I just started 11th grade
I got a vehicle and everything and I'm
Pretty sure that Gwen Stefani's
Face is boneless chicken slices

The Millionaire Milf Next Door

The Millionaire Milf Next Door

Really can't afford it myself so
That'll do it for this issue of Kickin' it Old School
with Microsoft Word 97 ... I'm sure
My friend scream in the woods
I realized immediately that it was very warm
And discovered to my horror
That the phone was dead to flag profiles
Of people on their friends list
who have felt dead doomed someday to
Become an online ghost town
Run by zombie users defacing accounts
Left logged on
Usually by changing the person's status
Dear Jess
Thank you so much for being my friend
And Hindi movie buddy
I wanted to know what your chemistry with Nimoy was like
Your fuck buddy in Lexington called before you came
And i need to shave my cha cha Rizzo
Retaliates and asked out a rival gang leader
A naughty soccer mom
And a dirty bored housewife

Righting wrongs through penetration

Righting wrongs through penetration


Does anyone know where Art is these days
He was my very first mentor
Believe it or not
Twenty four hour shipping on most orders
Forgery and anthropology
While I watch the cannons flashing
I clean my gun and dream
I still hear your sea waves crashing
While I watch the cannons flashing
I still see her standing by the water
Standing there looking out to sea
And is she waiting there for me
Should I clean my gun
How often should I clean my gun
How safe is my gun without cleaning
A She-Ra, Jem, or Care Bear
Can just walk into a Walmart
And find them or am I going to
Throw a sonic boom and walk in behind
Bliss in unknown artless
Unknown Guile
Mood Magic the stuff of enchantment
A walk of worship
Woodland Sanctuary
Mood Magic like winged splinters
Briny kisses lick our wounds
A woman recovers a lost lottery ticket
From Deseret, a breakaway state
Several times proclaimed by Mormon rebels
And suppressed by US troops
This all sounds very creepy I know
But these are the good guys
And with inspirational speeches like
Keep your penis strong Little Red Riding-Hood
Pulled her hood over her curls
And set off down the sunny green slope
With her basket in her hand
At a brisk pace

Fake Lugosi

Fake Lugosi


3 way evil pony
Vs the peppermint pony
From the rape of rainbows
Collection an endless supply

Easy to read and woefully
Written a so deeply constructed
Story of two girls and their heavenly
Intent for the human animal

Who became the third zombie
After being attacked by Vampira
And the fake Lugosi

It's a good thing they turned him into
Their signature infectious bouncy hooks
A fake octopus for Bela Bela
wasn't the butcher on Poverty Row

Making grade Z science after being abducted
And suffering years of Teletubbies
In their very own little slipcase
Gained notoriety early on
When a German teenager had purchased
Dozens of copies and used them
To construct a sort of altar in his room

Taking souls instead
Of saving souls
By Messenger
Of Elohim on MySpace
In this episode
The Rosary Army
Grew plants bearing fungus
That boned to
The human nervous system
Allowing them to control
The very words
They spoke under threat
Of spontaneous combustion

These collected remembrance
Are specifically about how we feel
as we remember our loved ones
The most often dished advice is by
Silliman's blog pop up's
Who always asks
How smart are you

Old school new school need
To learn though burn that mother down
When he got off of the Boat
In Galveston after
Just following these characters
Long enough to give us a serious sense
Of their lives
He stages what I guess is the
Fake Lugosi of the title

Ron Paul's False Flag

Ron Paul's False Flag


I'm gonna have my head examin'
And find out the size
Of those beings that walked
The earth many millennia
Ago before the atmosphere
Underwent a dramatic
business proposal

For the Federal Reserve has
A number of incredible collaborations
between modern marvels
And living legends that
Secretly have man bits
That are fierce
And all thugged out

This girl named Sappho
Is in need the big cure of spanking
because she always shows her panties
in Amarillo Akron Albany anywhere
Lipstick lesbians say go Ron Paul go

He is the only candidate
who sounds just like
A founding father
Schooling and utterly
Pwning General Petraeus
and his ass far
far away from the
line of fire

This raises some serious
HR issues relating
To health care costs
Wellness recruiting
And employee relations
Just how sexy
Are Ron Paul-style
Republicans once they
Have made the long journey
From Casablanca to Buno

When he was a child
Ron Paul had speech
Impediments Ron Paul
Just Sounds like a tranny
Name and that is
The main problem
With his followers

Who say
That a Rockwell painting
Does not require an explanation
A caption or even a title

The time has come to take
Norman Rockwell seriously says
The New York Times
And the most over-rated doctor
In America isn't the dumb guy
From The Bachelor

The War On Drugs Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy

The War On Drugs Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy

You don't inspire poetry
You inspire quail
In a rosemary sauce
With a gossamer underpinning
Of asparagus

Dripping with garlic
Gossamer wings so
We've designed the patented
Always with Flexi-Wings
To flex

I remember when I lost my mind
There was something
So pleasant about that
Out in the lake
Seeing it swimming away
To the empty nights

This is just like The O.C.
the girlfriend continued
There's a giant house
bad acting
and inexplicable and unnecessary
plot twists

Calm the ache
stop the shakes
If you like the sound of
A blur I've tried to hide
This is proof
Of the Spaceship Jesus

From the stained glass windows
No Mom I'm not on drugs I'm okay
You see the streets
They'll shallow your chacha
With it's absorbency

Life suddenly becomes
Filled with flowers
And cute bunnies but
You've only got one
So for the ultimate care
Down there who
Needs to see a
NSFW Midol ad

Whatever semblance
of a tiny vagina
I was left with
nearly wrecked my car
when I saw this one

Dear Jesus please
make this idiot's anus
bleed
Amen

Jabberjaw's Quetzalcoatl Quartet

Jabberjaw's Quetzalcoatl Quartet

Lately I have been plagued
By a very disturbing
Great white shark
(No relation) who is also
A drummer with The Neptunes
Whom I can't get out of my head


Even when they point
A gun even if they simply
Stand around like Jessica Fletcher
the sea witch in disguise
A very sexy mystery writer
Who lives in a small town
In Maine just take me
My lovely Quetzalcoatl

To the most barren desert
A few thousand miles
From the nearest sea
Take me back to Tulsa
I'm too young to marry
My mother is the Moon dark

Holding back
The wild hot sun
With shadows of
Serpent feathers
I almost died on
Three separate occasions

At the end of agriculture
At the end of the nobility cult
And at the end to the opening
Theme from the Andy Griffith Show

When Rosemary's billy-goat
Goes something like militant
Witchcraft punk
With a Motown edge

A great white shark
That speaks like Curly
From the Three Stooges
Nice life
Nice black-hole

Pornography

Pornography


Was a famous female French poet of the Renaissance
Daughter of Lyon who gave Cocteau
One million francs to make it here I can make it anywhere
On this list should have articles of their own
And should meet the Wikipedia notability guidelines
For their poetry books you can find thousands
And thousands of volumes waiting to be ordered
Mostly forgotten French poets
Some of which are English and Knowles Beyonce
Winning a Cesar for one million franc baby

When Clint Eastwood brings a small penis to Cannes or a
Famous scientist or the Dalai Lama tile box or
The French poet Baudelaire tile coaster
Cause if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it

I would have a chat with her cuz that's wrong
I think you should talk to her first
Its gross
Secondly weird
Ask her why is she even doin this?
I would let it be if she is making good money
Why not however it is kinda gross
Yes I think this is really gross and
You should tell her very nicely otherwise
She might get angry that your being "unfair"
To the militants that kill for Jessica Alba
My queen my goddess
and the hottest piece of ass we claim
There is not a one single name for Jessica
Or the Messiah see for yourself
A simple search of the Internet shows
War is a song that asks all the really obvious questions

The French public mocked Henri Rousseau's naive style
We just thought it was some sort of underdeveloped
Marxist theory on an truly awful way to die
An absolutely savage satire on the idiocy
Of calling pornography idiotic

Pitchfork Penis

Pitchfork Penis

Wee Hitler Penis the happy puppy
Judges the ejaculation contest
Taking place across Lord Bowser
Perfectly rippled chest

Though the resonating torch
Had been carried forward
To die-hards only Hitler Penis held
The master ring to the eternal metal chord

Important information
About the vulva for
Dawn at the Eagles Nest
Where Little Hitler uses fingers
On a vagina for the first time
Transported through the portal
To where one is only bored silly
with the whole ghost ship blitzkrieg thing

Hitler's Penis knows the rejection the humiliation
Of wanting to play with us big kids
But with his little bike he can't lead the charge
On The Night Of The Fluffy Pink Kittens

Meandered and detoured
And wandered through melodic
Progressions so spaced out
He sounded almost like jazz
This definitely wasn't
Your Mothers' Hitler Penis

Lady Gaga came up first in a google search
For Hitler's Vagina in fact her vagina
Should be a motivational speaker
Advocating a particular style
Of personal grooming
When the female pubic region
Can resembles Ezra Pound's beloved Apis dorsata

Tiny Hitler Penis is so surprisingly beautiful
In it we get the austere beauty
Of a telecaster roaming
The western U.S it's a genuine representation
Of our romance with the despairing
Beauty of loneliness
A Hitler Penis of solitary confinement
In an expansive wide-open land

Thank you Hitler!
But our Princess is in another castle
The Order Of the Garter vol 3 - No Boys Allowed
Hitler kitty is so ready to pounce on your Poland

Crypto-Zoology Shore

Crypto-Zoology Shore

Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 is the situation
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 is a dystopian novel

Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 is a total jihad fugue
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 is an all-volunteer effort
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 is a mythological creature
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 finally has the girl of his dreams

Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 in the classic mythological sense
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 heard that a tiny part of you died
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 is a gothic skull cross secret journal
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 please and thank you if anyone can
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 spent time just thinkin' thinkin' thinkin'
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 caused aggression and alpha-dog issues

Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 is desperate to shows off her dumpy ass

Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 is adequate but adequate just isn't enough
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 one of my most vivid childhood memories
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 based on the 1972 novel by Brian Garfield
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 as laden with paintings and other valuables
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 from the folks who started it all snot puke pus

Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 is life as the girlfriend wife and eventual widow
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 has said this all before your shadow's at the door
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 are invisible transparent as glass going unnoticed
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 wants to know where they can watch pervy anime
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 suck out all of your cerebral matter out of your ass
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 as a kind of playlist for this tremendous cleaning task
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 have "gone wild" and those born and raised in the wild
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 finds it impossible to avoid the apocalypse these days
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 changes in sexual desire or ability constipation diarrhea
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 is back to wage a huge war against hundreds of zombies
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 is a holy war waged on behalf of Islam as a religious duty
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 with the eminent emerson string quartet led me to slap down
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 care a lot about disasters fires floods and killer bees we care
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 stepped inside the enchanted world of butterflies and fairy stuff
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 wishes you could lie to me and bring my baby back bring my baby
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 is an American cartoon series that was produced in 1987 and 1988
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 on their back with their feet in the air isn't doing it just to be weird
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 subconsciously finds release in Alex just as it finds release in dreams
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 is a quarter of a century after her untimely death the legend continues
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 is a real crowd-pleaser filled with emotion drama action and suspense
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 has no history books no photographs no knowledge no sorrow or regret
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 for sale to bold thinking organizations and entrepreneurs who understand
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 tells the story of a nine year investigation into more than $2.5 billion in gold
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 is the missing spoils of war metal detecting dump diggers and scuba divers
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 is scooping up as many franchises and rebooting as many them as possible
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 has begun a crackdown on the wave of sub-Saharan Africans trying to reach Europe
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 clumsiness dizziness slurred speech unsteadiness light-headedness and drowsiness
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 right now is driving to Stockholm to leave their camera for service and cleaning at Nikon
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 are the choice of champions and the choice of millions of darts players around the world
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 was orphaned at the age of six when her parents were killed in an airplane crash overseas
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 is a type of amusement ride consisting of an open seated gondola which swings back and forth
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 am an energetic mother of two girls ages 2 and 5 I am offering 1 full time space in my in home daycare
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 has desire for self-destruction often accompanied by feelings of depression hopelessness and self-reproach
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 accepted the offer and decided to use it as a springboard to a show business career as a spectacular stunt
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 as a font I thought it would be that cool writing from the cartoon series and it wasn't I didn't even know what the
Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 during the nineteenth century it was still widely believed in the West that Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948 was a real creature

It's a three-way melee that leaves Tokyo in tatters

Halle Berry wants to consider
What's most important to you
Halle Berry is teaching
Economics to young teenagers
I think you're right about education
And leadership proving that
Halle Berry is more important than you
Halle Berry does not wait in lines
She has an Oscar
And a People's Choice Award
Why file naming is more important
To Halle Berry than you think
Halle Berry was out of her mind when
She implied that the Obama health care bill
Was going to create death panels
Halle Berry is more like a raving maniac
Higher than a kite
Professing knowledge but locked in
A dead-eye game of one-ups-man-ship
with Glenn Beck for the crown of crazy
I think we were all surprised and disappointed
When Halle Berry's one hundred million dollar
Ode to the midwestern bank robbers
Of the 1930s rang false and was
Belittling instead of honoring in its sensitivity

Halle Berry's origin is not well known
She is the guardian of an ancient race
of tiny humanoids named the Cosmos
who lived on earth

The Wonder Twins first appeared
In the second season of Knots Landing
Like some kind of sex toy
But in fact took the form of a suit of armor
The Wonder Twins' didn't have kids before
Because their other husband
Was an alcoholic
The Wonder Twins have turned a new mix
Loose on the unsuspecting intertubes
The Wonder Twins serve as high priestesses
To Halle Berry a primitive deity
When ruthless show men kidnap The Wonder Twins
Halle Berry follows them to Japan

Alfie Camus,The Witchfinder General

Ain't no fucking scenery to speak of here
But tat's right to my purpose
A man carrying a pistol at my back
There's the short walk to the front office
Clear out my desk
Gives a big smile
Grows wings and flies

So full of trash and rats
I felt one crawl across my soul
Fallen enemies are fed to the scavengers
Fallen friends are fed into the Great Furnace
Their souls returned to the Great Mother
While fallen warriors ready themselves

My lineage is Whitey McWhite
So a coat or two
Did the trick
Making my eyes pop
Without looking too weird or too dark
On those days I skip the elliptical trainer
Without a damn good reason
And find myself wandering through the woods

You come upon a sanctuary
A peaceful clearing that murmurs ancient secrets
The sounds of the waterfall beckon you to sit awhile
And contemplate how far you've come
And where your true path may lie
In this secret passage

And how the first angel blew his trumpet
Of hail and fire mixed with blood thrown
With blood will rain on
Blood fire and columns of smoke

Alphabetical a all and angel
Blood burned came down
Earth fire first car you see
Flame smoke smoke emitted from a vehicle
When it is on fire

We took your little white butt
and stretched it to the max

You continue your journey while the others
Attended “Kill Whitey” parties in Williamsburg

Smurf-Flavoured Milkshake

And they're like
It's better than yours
Because she shakes her breasts
And it attracts males
Actually, i'm lactose-intolerant
No my blender is broken
I've been wearing skirts
Short skirts
For the last three days straight
Damn right it's better than yours
I can teach you
Also what is the "yard"?
Think about it
Milkshakes are when MySpace profiles
Bring all the boys to the yard as I started
Making my own nut milk when I was living in LA

The other fly ladies are smooth and creamy cuz Kelly Osbourne
Left embarrassed after dad Ozzy farted in their yoga class
Shake it all the time (Whoa)
All the time work, work, work
Be a cold day in hell before we screwed around with a real one
The last time I saw him
he was dead drunk
Leavin' in a box car
which is a more violent and dangerous form of Smurf dancing

Hmmm looks like the puffins dodos and boobies know
if you melt Smurf they turn to flarf
but how much flarf?
Flarf Smurf runs through the village and surrounding forest
with a quill in one hand and parchment in the other
looking for inspiration

One night when the moon was blue,
a stork brought Conceptual Smurf to the village
No one knows where he came from but he was
Immediately adopted by all the Smurfs
He completely changed their quiet little lives
But no one's complaining

Everyone loves Conceptual Smurf
with all his good and his bad

Aleister Crowley underoos

Walking around

In his underoos made of four numerical it's free to view

Full screen streaming Saskatchewan

Towards the why I love sleep with a major change appearing right

At the end rather wear only clingfilm or eat

A plump chubby teenager sock

Commando side story most up-to-date Nanaimo weather forecast

Including Nanaimo's long range dumbbells will not allow for weaker muscle

A star if you love weather and the average Jane into a sexy vixen

Can crunch until you're blue in the then come long range

Irish long range with silver in the happiest marriages

The influence of my long-range airborne webcam

Showing off the beauty of the female foot

In this weather you need Aleister Crowley break time reading

When shown images chill I didn't expect her to be you

Hello there I am Andrea or &rea and information about Corfu's climate

Got me to do this gym class

Her spine straightening what words to use

a member of the most holy inquisition is weather Facebook Google they'll all be there

Prediction models of the end and a few other humans

For the long range period convicted serial killer

You icon of evil trade winds

Accurate seasonal forecasts patty cake manga

Doing military presses to shriek responsibility

Every man and every woman is extreme weather

A lean midsection is enough to turn a million dollars in this

Very latex hair Extreme Feet

The best foot fetish site on the fortune cookie

Factories of the northern plains

There is also hot she-males or hard stud gays

something is wrong in nazca

Something is wrong here war disease death destruction and hunger that was a UFO and no one noticed you have commented on the wrong article when I see something it is my sincere desire to be respectful and many non-believers find something otherworldly about the place the actual fluidity of movement has a fine skull to it so that they could not identify or tell in the afterworld who did them wrong one recent theory says the lines had something to do with water and the ancient people walked along it doesn't matter whether I say they are completely wrong don't worry we've got something for you too and although you can touch it and walk all over this half-mile those giant drawings on the plains of death of a ladies' man that Phil Spector produced album released in 1977

Why ? Shampoo ?

two poem in shampoo 36